Anne (Helme) Mcnamara

Anne (Helme) McNamara, 80, crossed over to Heaven on February 5th, 2017 after fighting lung cancer and Alzheimer�s with the same grace, dignity and resolve with which she lived her life. She didn�t receive a grand award, invent anything of note, run for public office or star in any films. But for those that knew here, her simple life was remarkable. Here are a few anecdotes of Anne�s journey as a mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend � a testimony to a life well led. Tucked in the last suspense novel Anne was reading was a small piece of worn yellow paper with the words of Washington Irving written in her handwriting: �There is in every true woman�s heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity.� These words spoke volumes of Anne�s grit and determination as she was the friend to have in troubled times. There was nothing she wouldn�t do to help you, miles she wouldn�t travel, time she wouldn�t spend or problems too big to overcome. In her own life, every challenge or setback was seen as �another chapter in the book� but never something that would break her spirit. Knowing that eventually she would see her beloved husband Tom again was a great comfort to Anne. Of course, if he doesn�t greet her at the gates, it�s likely she�ll have to track him down at the Heavenly Bar where he�ll be sitting with her father talking politics. That image made her smile along with knowing that her big dogs would be waiting for her at the Rainbow Bridge. �Big dogs� were the last coherent words Anne said as she slipped into silence. Raised in Syracuse, NY, Anne grew up surrounded by strong suffragettes in her grandmother, mother and aunts who instilled in her an unwavering belief that anything was possible. Even her earliest memories showed her fearlessness, from helping her father prepare for World War II air raid drills to riding her tricycle around the block to her grandmother�s house at 4-years-old. She spent summers at her parent�s lake house and nearly every family gathering at 1300 Valley Drive, the family homestead. At 3-years-old she met Carol (Fryer) Davenport, her unofficial sister, with whom she shared many of her happiest moments including coaxing Carol from her self-induced winter hibernation to the sunny shores of Florida where the two would giggle into the night like schools girls at a slumber party. Their lifelong friendship was filled with laughter, tears and many a vodka-inspired cocktail. If there is anything to learn from their friendship it�s to �focus on the positive�. Anne was very competitive (but always a good sport). When she and Carol were in the Girl Scouts she wanted them to earn every badge. In that quest, the two achieved the elusive aviator badge by talking the shop teacher into signing off on it. There was a small propeller airplane in his room which Anne studied from tip to tail and thus the badge was theirs - a foreshadowing of many ambitious accomplishments. Her youth was filled with beautiful adventures such as singing with her school choir at Carnegie Hall and traveling again to New York City with the International Order of the Rainbow Girls, a Masonic youth organization that inspired her to service (while allowing for an occasional ball gown or two). Like her mother Alice Harrison Helme and her aunts Evaleen Harrison and Marion Harrison Greene before her, she received a bachelor�s degree from William Smith College � albeit after a long hiatus due to the fact she preferred absolutely anything over going to class. From there she joined her parents and younger brother in Sanborn, NY where she worked as a switchboard operator before being drawn to the bright lights of New York City and her dream of becoming an actress. She hopped on a bus without clear directions on when to get off and landed in Harlem where a kind elderly gentleman saw her wandering around and asked her if she was lost. He gave her cab fare to her ultimate destination of Gramercy Park where she landed a room at The Roberts House (the model for TV�s Bosom Buddies), a job at Scientific America and tickets to every Broadway play. It�s there she met her husband Tom, a Brooklyn boy, who couldn�t have been cut from a more different cloth but shared a love story made for the movies - he, a grandson of Irish Catholic immigrants, one generation removed from the Lower East Side tenements, and she, an English protestant from an old farming family with Mayflower roots. Opposites truly do attract. When she wouldn�t move to Chicago with him without being married, he called her bluff and left�only to return weeks later lovelorn, begging her to marry him. She knew her power � although nothing would stop him from yelling �Where�s My Gigis� at the top of his lungs in the department store when he couldn�t find her. They raised their son Daniel and twin girls Diane and Dawn in Geneva, NY where she was greeted on her first day there by her neighbor Nancy Toombs holding a plate of chocolate cupcakes. A pot of coffee was made and a friendship solidified that would be a �safe space� for both long before safe spaces were vogue. When they weren�t stuffing their collective 5 children into Anne�s VW Bug and heading to the lake (without seatbelts � the horror of it all), they were tempering their husbands� competitive need to collect frequent flyer points; hosting epic parties (complete with the latest fondue dish, Pink Squirrels by the gallon and Swedish meatballs simmering in a crock pot), giving each other (and their children) not-so-perfect perms, and volunteering for the MIA (Mother�s in Action) where, due to their tireless efforts, there wasn�t an infraction perpetrated by neighborhood children they didn�t know about. After advancing her studies at Syracuse University in the 1970�s, Anne began a long career as a teacher. She shared her heart with the Penn Yan school district where she taught 5th grade and, drawing on her love of theater, created the drama department. When there was some extra money in her home budget, she would take one of her students on a flight to the city � sharing with them an experience they might never have otherwise. Her passion for inspiring her students lives on through the hundreds of small town children she taught that grew up to make incredible contributions, many of whom would come back year-after-year to thank Mrs. Mac. Her next chapter was spent in Wilbraham, Massachusetts where her husband Tom�s job allowed her to travel the world with her dear friends Lucy Civile and Helen Callahan. Most of their adventures can�t be printed here without risking extradition�or at least signing a waiver. She continued to teach, volunteer, throw coveted day-after-Christmas parties, play endless rounds of Bridge and embrace every new challenge with courage and wit. She relished her well-worn library card, re-runs of Murder She Wrote, endless cups of Dunkin Donuts, Lanz nightgowns, political hot topics, wintering in Florida, yellow roses (the flower of suffrage), her Buffalo Bunnies (a.k.a. Bills), Longaberger baskets and Yankee Candles, crossword puzzles, baking �smoky Christmas cookies� (that�s what cookies taste like when you make them while chain smoking), telling her children not to �sweat the small stuff� and most of all - time with her grandchildren Thomas and Mary. Her rock was her son Dan, who made a promise to his dying father 28 years earlier to care for his mother � and that he did to the very end. He was her constant champion and made sure she had everything she could need or want including daily visits where he would bring her favorite peppermint hard candies, listen to the same story many times over as if he had never heard it before, hold her hand while taking a drive, and most of all, made sure she knew she was loved. He gave Anne the gift of the perfect daughter-in-law in Christy, who created so many beautiful memories (and cosmos) for her with such kindness and love. Her daughter Dawn would spend weekends with her, taking her to the beauty parlor for manicures and pedicures, the farm stand for ice cream, and helping Anne win at Bingo every week. Anne was so blessed with the beautiful grandchildren Dawn gave her; proud of Dawn�s incredible calling for taking care of the elderly and grateful for their wonderful friendship in her final years. Anne�s fierce spirit was passed onto her daughter Diane. If there was a fight Anne had to face, she knew Diane would be there to help her win. They shared their love of politics, show tunes and genealogy with long hunts of long-gone ancestors - giddy when they discovered a nugget of family lore. They shared so many traits including a deep sensitivity under a confident exterior. The two would spend hours talking about their choices in life and shared dreams. Anne waited until Diane fell asleep, holding her hand, to take her last breath ~ not wanting to �burden� her children to the very end. Her heroic fight with cancer included the removal of half her lung, 4 ribs and a piece of her chest wall � a surgery she didn�t think she would survive but saw it as a great teaching moment for her doctor. Once a teacher�always a teacher. She did survive and thrived for years in her new home at Keystone Woods. She loved her time at the �sorority house� with her best friend Joan and so many other wonderful �golden girls�. You could find her in the lobby any given day greeting new residents and telling them that Keystone was a wonderful place to live. Singing with the Choraleers was the final chapter of her dramatic dream and something she truly loved. At the end, the staff of Life Care in Wilbraham helped her face her final journey home with tremendous kindness, support and dignity. A mother is the first and truest friend we have. Anne�s children honor that friendship with gratitude, trying �not to think too much� and �just be happy�. She is survived by her son Dan McNamara and his wife Christy Hamilton; daughters Diane and Dawn McNamara, grandchildren Tom McNamara and Mary Flores, brother John Helme and his wife Renee, sister-in-law Claire O�Connor and her children Helen and Ingrid, as well as cousins and treasured friends. Calling hours will be held at the Wilbraham Funeral Home, 2551 Boston Road, Wilbraham, on Saturday, February 11th, 2017 from 3:30-5:30 pm with a Christian service immediately following at 5:30 and burial in the spring at Oakwood Cemetery in Syracuse, NY. Her full obituary and guestbook can be viewed at http://www.wilbrahamfuneralhome.com/ and personal memories shared at www.facebook.com/anne.mcnamara.3576 Among the many ways to celebrate Anne�s life would be to help an animal and a veteran ( www.PetsforPatriots.com ), put music back in schools (MusicDrivesUs.org), make kids better (Shriners.org) or to simply do something kind for a stranger and think of Anne. If you�re so inclined, here�s the recipe for Anne�s favorite Pink Squirrel - well worth the trip back in time and a perfect toast to a beautiful life. 1 oz Creme de noyaux, 1 oz white cr�me du cacao, 2 oz cream Shake with ice then strain into a champagne glass and drink with aplomb.